you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
