Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
