i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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