sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
