The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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