bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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