He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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