careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
