I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
