yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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