Say something about gay babies.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I AM VODKA MAN
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
