ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
