first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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