porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
