A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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