Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
