Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
