She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
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