I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
