look no pants
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
