I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
