There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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