That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
