Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
