I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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