so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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