i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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