i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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