Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
