If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
