OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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