You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Everything about him screamed your future.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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