Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
