I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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