O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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