Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
