I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
