just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
