So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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