I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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