I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
