erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
