is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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