I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
please come you make the beer taste better
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
