goodnight i made you a song goodbye
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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