Kiss
Puke
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
