playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
