matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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