I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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