go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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